NA (netflix anxiety)

I discovered this week that Netflix makes me anxious, crabby and a little insane. In theory the service is awesome. The price is unbeatable (especially since bfingp pays). Plus Netflix has a vast selection offering anything from Fraggle Rock to nerdy LOTR documentaries.

Here's the problem: Netflix pressures me. The company hired a secret voice and sent it to me in some snazy reverseable red envelope. The voice crawled into my psyche and now sings me sob stories of unwatched movies. The voice tells me to add movies to my que and when they come, watch them quickly because there are many other valuable movies that I should see before I die. All these movies I receive must be watched ASAPLN (as soon as possible like now) because more movies are always coming out which I will also need to watch and will therefore place into my ever-growing que. In the end, the voice tells me that I'm a sub-par human being because I haven't watched the newest 20th century historical piece that I'm supposed to love because I liked Back to the Future parts I and II but not III. Anxiety-- see?

Now that baseball season has finally arrived, I don't want to watch movies as much. Baseball, even mediocre 2008 Twins baseball, engages me more than most movies nowadays. The problem is I feel like it's my duty to watch these movies. I mean, there are movies waiting to be delivered to me like yesterday.

Wait-- there is more.... Netflix plays games with me. For the last three weeks I've had I Am Legend at the top of my que. The last four times I've sent movies back I've hoped and dreamed that I am Legend will be shipped. I still don't have it. I sent three movies back yesterday. Tomorrow I'm getting the movie that sits 2nd, 4th and 5th in my que. Netflix is like, "Yo Miller, you want I am Legend???-- well guess what I'll send it to you .... after like a super-long-like-one-no-two-no-three-maybe four week wait!"

Take that...

Morneau is 0/8 this season. My theory is that he's suffering from NA or consumption of too much Mississippi water. I mean look at him when he's up to bat. He's shed his Canadian confidence and replaced it with nervous penguin.