Sheddin those Yankee Blues

New Song (sing to the tune of Camptown Races)

Yankee Stadium's falling down - boo yall -boo yall
Yankee Stadium's falling down - ahh the heck with them

______
That's it -- I really don't have much more time to think up child-friendly lyrics to a song about the destruction of the Twin's worst nightmare. Truly - I think there's got to be something about that stadium that keeps the twins quiet. Bat Girl blames our lack of activity at YS on Mike Trombley.

I blame it on Giambi's mustache. It is so creepy.


Oh sooo creepy.

Molester-style creepiness.

How can we beat that?

Word has it that Nicky Punto is growing a mustache. Somehow, I don't think Punto-boy can hardy grow a mustache, yet alone grow one that would compete with Giambi's utter creepiness. Thinking more about it... I don't know if even half of our young bucks can grow a mustache. Morneau, even in all his Canadian-ness, grows invisible mustaches. Mauer grows hair on the side of his face, but it seems to end there. All of our younins grow baby-face-peach-fuzz. hmm... Rick Anderson sports a decent stache, but not the creepy-creeperton stache that throws other teams off balance.

Who can we make creepy?

wait.. I know

Jason Kubel!




He grows hair like a bear. He's already bordering on creepy with the beard-o that he sports. Our creepy-creeperton must be Jason Kubel. Who's with me on this one?

We were heard!

Souhan must be reading my blog-- In his column today he shares my sediment involving the whole josh hamilton hype.


So -- bottom line: the Twins players are more admirable and to the public, that's just boring. -- Hard work, good decision making, dedication and life-long learning is not the story ESPN or the national media wants to tell. This is why Morneau, although he earned the 2006 MVP award, still isnt' recognized as a great. Heck, Kare-11 did a special where they followed Morneau around as he visited sporting good stores in FL. No one even recognized Morneau until he told the footlocker dude that why he gets a discount on Reebok. This is why Nathan and even Lil Pink Mauer, also are ignored. ARod has infidelity. Bonds has steroids. hamilton has addiction. Ramirez has an ego. Papelbon runs his mouth. There's nothing exciting about a team full of guys who just do their jobs.

Myrrrrneau?

Yeah -- It's been a splendidly-rough week for Twins fans. To an inhabitant of Twins-Territory, this week can be compared to having someone purposefully toss your absolutely all-time favorite flavor of ice cream (for me it's Coldstone yellow cake batter with fudge and brownie) on a seemingly clean floor. The ice cream is just too good to go to waste. Still, there's something oddly repulsive in Sanitation Station USA about eating anything off the ground.

Morneau achieved great feats this weekend. He'll eat his ice-cream -- but not in a comfortable position-- and most certainly not with a spoon.

Go figure...

All-Star week served as nothing more than a PR campaign to create a new image for MLB in this post-steroids era.

Here's our narrative. Let's conjure history. Remember baseball is the most patriotic game -- and as of this week, I guess it's the most christian game too (quote ESPN's Joe Morgan: "It's a lousy night to be an athiest").

Lets find ourselves a poster-child... ah! Josh Hamilton... heroin, crack, unknown substances, tatoos, rehab, old man, dreams, jesus and redemption -- He's packing a complete case of legos. Metaphorically he is Major League Baseball.

Set this mother of a week in Yankee Stadium-- the house the Ruth built -- blah blah blah.

You see the PR stunts?

Anyways, are Yankees fans sooo stupid? If this is such a historic ballpark, why are they tearing it down? Shouldn't they rehabilitate it-- or would that be too reminiscent of the work they are doing after Clemens was poked in the can? Guess the corporate dollars behind "Mcyankee stadium" were too much for Mr. Steinbrenner to pass up.

No-- really. Yankees-- think about it. True baseball fans, the kind that plan vacations around visiting stadiums, want to be part of history. Instead of rehabbing the house the ruth built, you are tearing it down and building NY McStadium across the street. Meanwhile, your arch-rivals, those dreaded BoSox, keep rehabbing Fenway -- a stadium that has outlived yours by nearly 20 years. My point is-- after five years, baseball fans will tire of McYankee Stadium. They'll start their summer time migrations with only two stadiums in mind: Fenway (built in 1908) and Wrigley (if it doesn't meet its doomsday in the next few years).

Anyways -- back to All Star week as a Twins fan -
It should have played out like any pseudo scripted reality tv program-- but it didn't.

Let's just say that a the big Cannuck was not written into the script. But, he tiptoed out on stage -- blowfish cheeks and all.



MLB and ESPN tried its darndest to keep him from finding any kind of spotlight. Jason -- Marneua -- Myrrrno -- Merlot?

I guess some things never change. Small market teams and their players will always be the illegitimate step-children who are supposed to keep quiet in the nook underneath the stairs of McYankee Statium.

-- on a sidenote, i googled "all star morneau" to find an image for this post and the second image is of Josh Hamilton.